Can You Wait To Have A Baby?

When I was younger I thought I would have five children, a colonial style home and a husband named Michael for some reason.  So what happen?  Well I suppose either the condoms worked or their soldier of love did not deliver. Was that too much too soon? My apologies. Childless in your thirties leads to a lot of assumptions that people make about you. Some people think that you may not be able to conceive, you’re so career driven that your sex life is nil, or you just don’t like children. No one’s first thought is that it just has not happened yet. I’m a little guilty too with my perceptions. When I meet a woman in her thirties without children  I make assumptions as well, I always think that they were not able to conceive. For many of us, it just has not happened yet, and some of the times it is for good reason. Reflecting on past relationships, could you imagine having children with some of your ex-boyfriends?

The more articles you read, talk to friends and family or your gynecologist, the more you may become discouraged about having your first child in your thirties. We all know that there are some Hollywood stars handling pregnancy in their 30s and 40s, as great as any 25 year old, but that may not be your reality. So what should you let influence you, Hollywood, your bank account, statistics, your marital status? All of the above would be the easiest answer, but most women are influenced by statistics that state that your fertility rate starts to decline at age 27. Almost anywhere on the internet you can read “a woman’s chance of pregnancy is approximately 20 percent each month at age 30, dwindling to 5 percent by age 40.” Although those percentages may be real in some instances it is unfair to place the stress and anxiety on yourself because you are older than 27 years of age and has yet to conceive a child. I’d say getting pregnant is all up to your body, and even with proper nutrition, exercising, a man with some great swimmers and youth on your side you may have had a difficult time.

The statistics get worst when reading articles about attempting to get pregnant between the ages of 35 and 39 where you have about 33 percent chance of not getting pregnant within a year of trying. Statistics suck and can leave some women discouraged, depressed, and even end some relationships. The most encouraging moments in life can be when you see someone accomplish something they tried so hard for. What you will rarely read on the internet is about current well-designed studies where women are successfully having babies. A lot of research that we are basing our life choices on is primitive. 

There is an article published in Obstetrics & Gynecology in 2004 and headed by David Dunson that examined the chances for pregnancy in women 35 to 39 years of age. The results were amazing, it found that with sex at least twice a week, 82 percent of 35-to-39-year-old women conceive within a year, compared with 86 percent of 27-to-34-year-olds. Another study released this March in Fertility and Sterility and led by Kenneth Rothman of Boston University, followed 2,820 Danish women as they tried to get pregnant. Among women having sex during their fertile times, 78 percent of 35-to-40-year-olds got pregnant within a year.

Overall there may be many factors in you becoming pregnant, however don’t let age discourage you. One of my favorite quotes is from the book The Alchemist by Paul Coelho it states “ And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.” I believe that with all of me, and as I approach another birthday I won’t worry or fret rather I am getting to old to have children. Don’t worry about your age as much as society does, if it is possible for you to have a child it will happen. So how long can you wait to have a baby? As long as it takes.